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We have all been escaping reality all along. But how long do you think this will last? Have you realized the fact that our search continues even after we find our ‘ideal’ solution? Why are we humans not able to accept reality? Who do we blame, ourselves or the society that undermines and shares a cold shoulder? Okay, who do we call as the society? Isn’t it us? One sad thing with humans is that they can’t blame themselves. We have this egoistic, senile desire to blame others for anything that’s happened!
Now, an important question all of us have in mind is “ Are people who network on the web lonely?” My answer to the question is a sordid yes. That doesn’t of course mean we are all unhappy. When people work to distract themselves, we call them selfish. What do we call people that try to escape reality by doing things we don’t do in our “real” life? Frankly speaking, I for one, happen to be an ambivert and well, yes, I am introverted on the larger scale. But I happen to be a social media enthusiast and an extrovert on the web. I am really intrigued when I think about this aspect. Has virtuality engulfed our lives to such an extent that we don’t know to embrace the real world? Is the Virtual World trying to make us slaves? The ultimate question is “Has love perished?”
Frankly speaking, I have lost the art of talking to real people. No, not the ones on microblogging sites, Social bookmarking sites or Social networking sites. I mean the ones that have a life. Why are we not aware of the fact that people expect a lot from us? I cringe inside when I am not able to reciprocate feelings. Not that they are non-existent! But what’s been happening? Why do we take pleasure listening to people on the web ranting and rambling about their lives, when we are not able to stand the sight of real people who only want us to listen? Why have we lost the connection-The HUMAN CONNECTION?
Why do we think that wishy-washy affection isn’t our forte? Why do we take pride when we tell this to people? And why are we embarassed when loving kin display their affection? If we don’t like the human connection , why do we like the concept of sharing gifts and hugs on Facebook?
The final question: Have we all turned into full time zombies?
Now, I am sure 98% of you have this problem and sadly, that includes me as well! Now, you may be wondering why I came up such a post when I happen to be an internet addict. Thanks to the novel Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom that at least made me think such thoughts. Whether or not I will change from what I am right now is hard to tell. But from now on, I shall definitely try to be the individual Mitch’s professor “Morrie” was.
Imperturbable and indifferent toward things in general that I am, I didn’t like what this book was preaching me, at first. I hated it , in fact for the wishy-washy affection it encompassed. These books were not my kind but I wanted to finish reading the book anyway. I don’t usually stop reading any book halfway unless or otherwise it’s absolutely ludicrous and vulgar. Now, When I started reading chapters on emotions, family and friends, my heart wasn’t what it usually is. It had molten. I was inwardly crying. But I wouldn’t cry unabashedly. Crying isn’t my thing and the strong person that I am, I usually make it a point to talk to myself whenever I start crying and tears would recede when I start mouting my ‘incantations’.
One outlandish thing about us all is we hate anything that makes us think. That’s why we take protection in the arms of distraction. The delusion we create around ourselves acts as an armor. And we are naïve enough to think that we have escaped the invincible and inevitable reality.
When I drifted to various topics like Love and Death, I started thinking if the mistake was with me. It had been me all along who’s bitching about things. Not in the literal sense. I am talking psychologically here. I would never bitch about things. I am a very happy individual with a lot of online friends! Yeah, you read it right. Mitch’s words- or rather his professor’s had me contemplating things. Going back to where I was, Yes, in the psychologically, I have been living an empty life. We all have been, to be precise.
My most favorite lines in the book are:
“Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it”
“.. the culture we have does not make feel people good about themselves. We’re teaching the wrong things… I may be dying, but I am surrounded by loving, caring souls. How many people can say that?”
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Love is the only rational act”
“Everyday have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I being the person I want to be?’ “
“Love each other or perish”
“.. detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully”
“What’s wrong with being number 2?”
There are lots of awe-inspiring sayings like this! I seriously recommend you all to read the book! If you really want to make your life meaningful, read it!
Now, what do we do to harness the power of love?
Remember, True love is unconditional. Here’s a way to nurture love one step at a time.
Coincidentally, today happens to be World AIDS day. You’ll be genuinely shocked if I put forward the fact that in Asia alone, there are 4.9 million adults and children suffering from the deadly endemic. [source]
Starting today, you can make your life meaningful! Social networking alone just for the fun of it isn’t life! Let your voices, along with mine, ricochet in such a way that love spreads its wings encompassing the whole world. Write about the pandemic and try to bring to people’s notice that HIV/AIDS is fast spreading. There are other ways you can help too! The satisfaction you get is priceless. I extend my heartfelt thanks to Blog Catalog and am glad that I am part of their special endeavor.
Remember, simple things in life make a big difference!
Nice post. Have to agree with you on certain counts. You had given hints in your twitter stream as to these things in past two or three days. Isn’t it? But how can you generalise it? There are many whom I know who are active in social networking but they are very good in interacting with real people, myself included
. Thanks for recommending a good book. On speaking about books, try reading the book Motorcycle Diaries, its about real people in real world.
@Vishwas Krishna -
Thanks Vishwas Krishna! Well, I thought of adding the point about generalisation. Thanks for bringing it out to my notice. Will do something about it!
Yeah, you must read it! It’s an awesome book! As regards MD, I’ll try to get my hands on it soon!:)
I wouldn’t view social networking sites such as Twitter as not being part of “the real world”.The interactions we have on these sites are real, the amount of time we spend on them is real, and the number of human being actively involved on these sites are all real.
So I think that the migration that you point to in your post is from the world of physical interaction into the world of online interactions. I definitely agree with you that a migration is happening, but I don’t know if that’s such a bad thing.
For the most part I think people prefer to interact with others who share similar interests. In the online world it’s just easier to find lot’s of people with similar interests, as opposed to restricting your search to those who are in close physical proximity.
So I think that there are some valid reason that some degree of migration should be happening. That having been said, I think that human being do need a certain amount of physical contact and interaction to be happy, healthy, and well adjusted. If a total migration were to take place, I would be against it, but I think a partial migration makes sense.
@Feedback Secrets -
Interactions we have on these are real indeed! I never said I hated Social Media sites for what they have been doing. The mistake, mainly lies with us. We do not know how to spend quality time. Time management, I personally feel, can’t be achieved when a person is addicted to the internet. This is sheerly personal and is not a generalisation!
I agree with you one hundred percent about the ’similar interests’ part.
Yeah, a partial migration should be the best solution indeed! Even I wouldn’t like a total migration!
Thought provoking… Though I do not personally relate myself with the questions you put forth, I do applaud you for making some candid statements.
Ok… I, for one, believe in letting people do what they want. In the sense, it does not quite bother me if they are addicted to the internet or not. It is their life and they are free to lead it the way they want/please. Free will, as it is otherwise known.
So… If they are happy and feel a sense of ‘connection’ in the virtual world, amen. As it is, the internet has made a small world, smaller. You cannot deny that. I do comprehend what you are trying to say though. The ‘human touch’. Only too well. But as I said… Free will. I was going through a research result which mentioned how happy/satisfied people are when they make acquaintances online; but they are shy to meet the same person in real life (it is a different issue that the fairer sex is the shier of the two sexes).
Internet, you can say, is a necessary evil. (I dare say the statement has become clichéd already!)
You must have heard of Second Life With such ‘facilities’ available today, any introvert will want to bring out the extrovert within and take a nose dive.
No, I have not read the book you mentioned. Will try to read it…
My take on ‘love’. You know it… That does not make me a zombie.
Love has not perished. It won’t. It is like the undying spirit. It is within you and I. But… We do have to search for it. Nothing comes easy in life. I guess that is why people try to look for the easier way out (May be that’s your answer to why they deliberately distract themselves or hide… They cannot face the truth. I have met such people…) And undeniably, the internet is the easiest way out. Think about it… It is not about networking alone.
How many of us go to a library and refer there? Oh no no no… We are Google-devtas *Google baba ki jai ho!* And what about ‘writing’ letters. We were taught to maintain a nice handwriting… All our hands do now is punch down the keys of a poor keyboard. The list goes on… Our lives have been ‘digitized’. We know it. Yet… We fail to stay in touch..!
Digital Signal Processing happened to be my favourite subject (it still is). And this is what my instructor told me when I met him for the last time… “Utilize your skills to connect people by processing their feelings in an efficient way.” Multum, in parvo if you ask me.
Change, they say, is one thing (if not the only thing) that is constant. Change is part of life. Somehow or the other, you will find yourself changing with time. Whether it is for the good/bad, we will know with time. And so will you…
Homo sapiens are a very capricious lot… And everyone dreams of living an ideal life. Until reality is driven home in a cruel fashion… But there is something called time. Which – apart from healing – also makes one go back from living the real world to dream about the ideal world and dwell in it. Oh! Utopia…
Peace.
—
Now, I’ll direct some of those questions on to myself. These are certified honest responses.
1.) “We have all been escaping reality all along. But how long do you think this will last?” – Till we learn to grab the bull by it’s horns rather than blindfold ourselves (a la Tom in Texas Tom) and hope to not be gored to Kingdom Come!
2.) “Have you realized the fact that our search continues even after we find our ‘ideal’ solution?” – Yes. And… It will continue too. Because we do not know the meaning of the word content. If you do, please share it with us. Nay, drum it inside us
3.) “Why are we humans not able to accept reality?” – Duhhh! If we could, we wouldn’t quite be human-esque. Can you imagine a world where all humans accept reality? What? You can? Jolly good… Next question, please.
4.) *question slightly re-phrased* “Do you toss the blame around..?” – I take the liberty to assume this is not a yes/no question. I see myself as a responsible and committed individual and I put in my best to honour what I have been asked of. I am only too human to not take the blame come the odd day. That is only when I know I am innocent and in no way responsible for the event. Period.
5.) “Are people who network on the web lonely?” – May be… May be not. I can tell you one thing though. The loneliness is probably out of insecurity. Or, a sense of belonging… Something like – Why not try it? As it is, I am not quite lucky in real life!
6.) “What do we call people that try to escape reality by doing things we don’t do in our “real” life?” – Wannabes, maybe? The reason? ‘Cos they are just not able to face bare/naked fact.
7.) “Has virtuality engulfed our lives to such an extent that we don’t know to embrace the real world? Is the Virtual World trying to make us slaves? Has love perished?” – Hmmm… I think you can fish out the answer from what I had said earlier.
8.) “Why are we embarassed [sic] when loving kin display their affection?” – I said it before. I say it again. We are unable to digest fact. And who knows… Hypocrisy is not alien to humankind.
9.) “Have we all turned into full time zombies?” – No, not yet. And if we want to save ourselves from such a fate (or one that is portrayed in Wall-E, flubbery-blubbery humans), it is not too late.
10.) “What’s wrong with being number 2?” – I am a huge fan of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Quoting Federer I’d say it is number one, or nothing else. And seeing what it took Nadal to become numero uno, I’ll say you can be the greatest number 2; for you were second to probably the best son-of-gun ever to have graced tennis.
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I know I completed the ‘comment’ part of this comment… But I will in-effect complete this gargantuan of a comment with the following lines.
We never really lose anything in this life (I prefer not to think of past/future lives). After all, this a materialistic life we lead and nothing is forever. But we do have everything to gain… In fact, we always gain. Wondering if all this commenting at 1:30 AM has made me looney? Think again… We live to gain. It is the avarice and emotional human mind that occludes, nay, blinds us from realizing something oh-so-bloody-true. The word you are groping for is experience.
Thus spake Kartz.
Peace.
@Kartz -
Internet, you can say, is a necessary evil
How true! I can’t agree more! Recently read a news about a couple who married on the virtual world on Second Life, and man, was I shocked beyond words! Second Life seems to be a dangerous place on the web!
Please read the book. The simple language the author’s used and his lucid writing have captured my attention. I have read one of his other books, The five people you meet in heaven. But I would say this is his best!
Yeah. You’re absolutely right! Internet is not for networking alone!
Wow, I like the way your professor framed the sentence. I am awed!
Certified responses? Certified by whom, may I ask?
Now, I am afraid I don’t know how to define the word. Will think hard and come up with something passable.
“am not quite lucky in real life!” The same can be said in my case only I don’t regret it!
This post was actually written in a fit of rage. That would have been evident by the manner of penning it! Sometimes, I wish we knew the answers to simple questions in life!
I’m not sure how much I can add value to the post. In fact, some part of this comment might not be relevant to the post. But this is what:
While I was reading the post, I was talking to my friend (real life) side by side in gtalk. But the thing is, if I’m “Ramkarthik” who knows nothing about social networking, I would probably be either speaking to him over phone or would be in house. At least I would be concentrating on what he is telling. But with social networking, I’m starting to neglect friends at times. I know it is wrong but I still do it.
I used to look at it this way:
When we got real life friends, we used to neglect some of the things our parents says. At times, they ask us to do some work, but we neglect them because we are talking with real life friends. Now we have shifted gears. We talk to virtual life or people in the social networking sites more often. We tend to neglect some of our close real life friends. I don’t mean to say that people in the social networking sites are not for real. There are people who come to find friends for real life. But we cannot neglect our close friends for them.
I’m saying all this because, I have been doing it. I should bookmark this page and read it or at least skim the post when I’m avoiding real life close friends.
I hope, what I’m saying, makes sense. Nice article.
@Ramkarthik -
Your comment happens to be straight from the heart and is extremely relevant:)
I can relate to what you have written, RamKarthik! I have been behaving the same way ever since I started using Web 2.0 sites. I have this guilty feeling at times which makes me go capricious. I can see my reflection in your lifestyle.
We need to do something about this. It’s about time we started living real lives. I am very glad that someone at least understands my problem!
Well, going a bit personal, even a cousin advised me about all this and made me cry for a whole day. That particular day, I stayed off the Pc but was back to square one from the day after. It’s an addiction and unlessor otherwise I take a decision, things are not goibng to improve.
Of course… I could sense that.
See… All I’ll say is – there is nothing wrong with sticking on with the virtual world if you experience some sort of satisfaction. I am quite an internet addict myself. But I know where to draw the line. And that is what I will tell you too.
The thing is… We will enter a new phase of life soon. “Professional-life”, wherein you will probably stay-in-touch with your real-world friends. So… Don’t miss any opportunity. The virtual world is always there to help you stay connected with them when you are far off. It sure is here to stay… For now! The quintessential human touch is appreciated only when you do meet your real-world friends and spend that quality time.
You may think you are not ‘lucky’ (In a way, I do relate myself to that!)… So what? If you have made good/true friends in the virtual world, celebrate your success. There are so many who have been traumatized by the virtual world too… We need to appreciate every small success and look at the positives we gain. Like I said, there is no loss. We are always gaining – experience – in any endeavour.
I wrote a piece for our class memorabilia. In a way, it matches what you have tried to convey. Feel free to let me know what you make of it. A’08 Memorabilia
And those answers were certified by yours truly.
Peace.
@Kartz –
Yeah! I have many friends on the web who are truly great! I am cherishing them indeed! But sometimes, the fact that I don’t spend enough time with my folks makes me guilty!
Well, share the link again! It doesn’t seem to function!
Dang it..!! One more try. No more tags…
http://kartzonline.blogspot.com/2008/05/memorabilia-contorted-reality.html
Wow.. great article…
Here is something you will definitely be interested it..
http://www.techtola.com/2008/12/story-of-stuff-most-useful-video-of-my.html
Thanks for stopping by! The video was indeed interesting! Thanks for the share!