Insane Mortals,
The decision I have taken doesn’t necessarily reflect my views. They reflect yours because you governed my views all through my life. You made me think I would never recover from whatever life was bestowing upon me. I would have happily accepted Fatalism if not for your eclectic views. You made me a hedonist, making me join your useless herd. I tried doing what you had preached- live a happy life. Only later did I understand that living a happy life in human terms is to abdicate rationality. I was dogmatic about the transformation but in the end, what mattered was happiness, the immeasurable entity. When I asked you to define happiness, you overwhelmed me by showing the living example of happiness. The rich are the happiest, I was told and I yielded, conflicting emotions perforating my consciousness. You glorified self-deprecation and I basked in the ephemeral glory of the inopportune moments. I completely fell into the nadir of despondency. You rejoiced while I sulked. Tranquility deserted me on the pretext of visiting you, O ye Fools! He made my life desolate and I retaliated. He wouldn’t commemorate the bond I had with him. I deserted the heartless idiot.
An avalanche of defunct memories are my only possessions now. You made hypocrisy look like the absolute truth and truth, like hypocrisy. You ruined my life making me think I was not fit to live, all the more fueling my inner beast. You and you alone are the reason I am living this moment, in total pain. I learnt all that you taught me with an open mind. Like a child who would listen to every story his mother would say, wishing it were true. If nothing were the truth, why do we go about thinking about the absolute truth and making compromises? You have bereaved me of my senses, my rationality and my inner peace. You made me fall into the pits of depression. Darwin, if he were alive, would have supported me saying “The fittest shall perish”.
As I am writing this letter, I have no qualms about dying. You have made me look at death as the fifth dimension. My fourth dimension was all that you needed to sabotage my life. If you thought I would let you take control of the fifth dimension, you are a damned fool! I am going to make my final and the sanest decision of my life, so spare me your sympathies and condolences. Who wants your sympathy now? I pretty well know how you would react to my death. You would call me a coward. Asking questions at the time of death isn’t so hackneyed. I ask you, you barbarous animals, do you even have the courage to commit what I am doing? You do not even have the courage to carve your destiny let alone invite death. But I am embracing death with open arms, welcoming my lost rationality with a passionate fervor. Ha, there you are! I see tranquility waving at me. Where were you all this time?
A feverish laugh escapes my coarse throat as I fall down, all the way into eternity.
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