“Had I known you would be having this special conversation with the wind, I would never have come here. Honest. I am sorry. Do you mind telling me when I will have the pleasure of hearing your discussions with the other demigods?”

She broke the silence first, her silvery voice masquerading any sign of laughter.

It was not nature that bowled him over this time. The features of his face found this rare moment to exhibit their finesse,  portraying a big cherubic smile that made her chuckle.

“Why are you always alone? You should be mingling with people to write about them. At this rate I am afraid you will become schizophrenic very soon.” Her eyes betrayed the concern her voice concealed. He didn’t fail to notice the futile attempt of her velvety voice to sound untouched.

“I am not alone, dearest; solitary is the right word. I am absolutely enjoying the company of my self and no, schizophrenia is not a euphemism for being alone”, he laughed, with the characteristic twinkle in his eyes which told her the subject wouldn’t be discussed further.

What can a poor damsel do but sigh when the man of her dreams has a  mental disease! It would be another matter if it were physical, but who can cure the diseases of the mind, that too those of an overgrown kid?

“Listen moron, I am genuinely worried about you” he wouldn’t let her finish the sentence. Before she could even imagine to dare to speak another word, his throaty voice started reciting Boulevard of hazy silence, one of her all-time favorites.

The tortures in the depths of my being

that accompany the darkness of my soul

leave me desolate

in your very hands that protect me.

Harm me, ruin me, destroy me

but never let me live

in this hazy silence.

I will die.

“And who says the wind is masochistic?” He wouldn’t let her advise him, that much was clear. So she tried to lighten up the conversation though she was secretly worried about the darkness in his poems.

“You are my worst critic. Say, why don’t we talk about something interesting? Why don’t you ask me to define abstract entities which I will try answering with a poetic touch?”

She had never seen him like that and she smiled inwardly at his childlike exuberance yet keeping a stiff upper lip.

“You are so narcissitic! I hate you!” she pronounced  the words with mock indignation.

“Hate is not a very good word to start with. Try something else!”

“One can’t argue with you even for arguments’ sake. You are soo …. conceited. Very well, since I am super bored and don’t have anything worthwhile to pay attention to, I might as well listen to whatever gibberish you speak. We may start with love. ”

“This is precisely what I expected from you, sweetheart. Anyway, understanding love and living it are two different things. You might not like what I am going to say but be assured I am not being biased. Love is a magnetic field of force people get attracted to when they have a subconscious wish to experience pain.”

“You son of a.. ” she was so furious that she didn’t know what to do . Standing with her arms akimbo, she glared at him while he guffawed, a gleam taking permanent residence in his deep set eyes.

“Easy. Anyway, I will give you your kind of explanation. With an analogy. In the beautiful relationship between a honeybee and a flower, what the flower has for the honeybee is love and what the honeybee has for the flower is lust. While the flower remains oblivious to the intentions of the bee which visits it only to covet the nectar, the bee ironically, is oblivious to the flower’s sacred devotion. Neither the bee nor the flower can be blamed for it is the rule of nature to impregnate the world with follies.”

“But what makes you think the flower is experiencing pain? The joy of letting the bee make use of its treasure should surpass the pain of separation.” she countered.

“Precisely. But the bee takes advantage of the flower’s magnanimity. The flower gives itself completely to it; it’s an act of total self-giving which is what pure love is all about. The flower may happily let the bee transcend its boundaries and call the act ‘love’ but is it really living a life of love? When it graciously lets the bee make use of its honey, it shines with generosity and why do you think it shrivels and falls when it dies? The untold agony!”

“Does love always end in tragedy then? What a preposterous thought! Don’t let your subjective opinions rule our conversation” she hated his definition of love all the more loving his analogy and his explanation. ‘What would he say about my love for him’ she wondered, not quite willing to broach the topic.

“Did I ever say love is the highest form of relationships? There’s something more to this topic than you think there is. We will save this discussion for a rainy day. The flower-honeybee lovesaga has given me an idea to write an epic poem. Thanks for entertaining me all along. You may leave now”

What followed after this would be anybody’s guess. Suffice to say what started as a war of words ended in a peace of sorts. I leave it to the reader to ramble on with anecdote after anecdote.

This seriously brings a truckload of other questions which I will try answering:

1. Can individuality be inspired?

In my humble opinion, Individuality can NOT be inspired. It’s some kind of a rational force that has its inspiration within. There may be a lot of people like Socrates to inspire you, yes, but only experience can shape an individual. I strongly agree with the empiricists in this regard.

2. If I want to become an awakened socially conscious person, do I need to follow the footsteps of great visionaries?

I would say a big ‘No’ to this question too. You really need to have inspirations, of course, there’s no question about it. Following someone’s footsteps may be deemed as right by certain people but let’s look at it this way. Times have changed and changes have become inevitable. The experiences gained by others may be different compared to yours! Solipsists, I guess will be able to understand what I am trying to convey!

3. When I say “I am a socially awakened individual”, does that mean I am an objectivist?

Freewill may be associated with Objectivism but Individualism, in my opinion, is not. This enlightened self-interest moulds Egoists and exacerbates their condition.

4. Is an Individual subjective or objective?

I would say a fine blend of both subjectivity and objectivity will create an individual.

5. Does a socially awakened individual focus on the end results?

IMO, No. He does his duty (which is a form of Free will) and leaves the rest to God or any supreme power he believes in ( which is a form of Determinism).

6. This isn’t a question but a fact. Socially conscious individuals don’t proclaim themselves to be enlightened. Socrates thought the oracle at Delphi was paradoxical just because it said he was the wisest person. With Individuality comes humility.

Now, delving deeper into the topic, we’ll see what stops a person from becoming an awakened social Individual. The various factors, according to me would be Prejudice, Pretense, Envy, Fear, Conformism and the like. Prejudice gives a man preconceived notions. Preconceived notions can take a man in the wrong path. It might lead him to prejudicial views about everything he seeks or tries to understand. Pretense or hypocrisy makes a person preach what he doesn’t believe in. Indian politicos fall into this category. Envy or Jealousy can make people get influenced by other great people’s views and make them fall into the nadir of self-deprecation and restraint. Fear can stop an ordinary person from pursuing his highest goals. But the virtuous embrace difficulties with equanimity. They are imperturbable. Conformism has every potential to deprive a man of his rationality.

To shape an individual, education, in my humble opinion is the most effective tool. Original thinking as opposed to conventional thinking should be encouraged. Half of our lives is spent reading other people’s materials. By the time we read all the philosophers, we would have started thinking their thoughts.  I don’t mean to say one mustn’t read. One also needs to do some original thinking. Analysing a situation from other people’s perspective will only deprive you of your sanity. A student should be able to tell why the Socratic method is useful and why it may not be useful at other times(This is just an example) . He should be able to articulate clearly why he thinks the Big Bang theory is wrong. Sadly, our educational system is keen on producing slaves rather than individuals.

I had previously written about Classical and Romantic Understanding and its classifications; Conservative classical, Radical classical and conservative romantic and Radical romantic understanding. Let’s just say that of all the types, the persons falling into the first two categories are likely to be become socially awakened individuals. We know that romantics can’t become individuals(Please take a look at the article for definitions). We’ll now discuss conservative classical and radical classical understanding with respect to Individuality briefly.

Does Conservative Classical Understanding create an individual?

While it’s an undeniable fact that people falling into conservative classical category are conformists(not hardcore conformism), they are still classical thinkers. I would personally opine that their thinking is flexible. Flexible as in they don’t have preconceived notions. So they have the highest probablity of becoming Individuals.

The reasons why radical Classical Understanding can not create an Individual

Radical Classical thinkers may be biased or prejudiced because the ambiguity of their thoughts may overweigh their intentions. They have every qualification to become an individual but they lose their individuality with their ego. The social consciousness is reduced to zilch when they let their ego destroy them.

Would like to know your thoughts on the same! I have uploaded the article as a pdf for your convenience!

There is nothing such as the absolute truth. The human mind creates it, only to suffer later. Experience, in my arrogant opinion, is the absolute truth. I defy all rules that bind Homo sapiens. I live by my own rules that sway tumultuously according to a situation. You used to tell me that my insanity keeps me sane. Being sane and having the knowledge that one can be sane are again, two different things. I don’t have to tell you which category I fall into.

In “Waiting for the moon” by Kristin Hannah, Ian Carrick thinks Selena is brain-dead. Now I know the inner meaning of the words. The knots are slowly untying themselves. Wonder how conundrums have started unraveling themselves to me. Some achievement this is!

Now, as I am writing this letter that is going to change both our lives forever, a lopsided grin adorns my tranquil face, making me want to reminisce the memories that I have long shut out of my mind. Hoping even for a little bit of happiness is the sign of the weakest! Life is divine chaos and I embrace it with an open mind and a smiling face. Every dog has its day and I have had mine. Now is the time to let you go. To cling to you would be to destroy you- destroy a part of myself. Now, does that sound like literary nonsense to you? I can’t help it. Remember the time you got angry when I said I hated Wuthering Heights? You are every bit as insane as I am; only you don’t know that you are. Two of a foolish kind we are!

To cut a long story short, I don’t love you. How can a person love herself?  I can’t go around telling myself that I am in love with myself! Forgetting you would be next to impossible. Then again, how can I forget myself? Ah! That’s a really funny thought.

I am not a literary genius to end this letter perfectly. This is a parting letter after all. All I can say is this:  Stay out of my life. I don’t want to talk to you again, yes, or even think of the past.

Anything more would be superfluous. Period.

*********************************

Don’t know what made me write such dark stuff! Blame it on the books I have been reading, of late!

One needs to understand that both classical and romantic understanding have to exist together! A huge split has occurred in the world because of our misconstruing the entire concept.  When I say world, it not only means the outer world. One also needs to understand the fact that one can’t exist without the other.

Now that you have an idea as to what the two kinds of human understanding are, I would like to delve deeper into the topic. I would like to put forth my thoughts on the subject.

God and abstract ideas are the only entities that defy the laws of human understanding. We associate human beings with their corresponding forms and the first thing that strikes a person when talking about another is his appearance. So that would correspond to romantic understanding. We,  human beings exist such that we give importance first to the romantic side and not the classical one. I don’t think people can deny the fact. What, I can hear you asking, happens to blind people then? Simple. They hear a person’s voice and judge him which again falls under romantic understanding. But human beings must see to that they don’t become slaves to their sense organs. The sense organs, which help boost  romantic understanding, may delude a person and make life miserable. Rather than controlling the organs, man, in the name of intellect, gets controlled by them. A man deluded by the sense organs and in turn, by the romantic form, starts leading a hypocritical life.

Abstract ideas like quality and value, on the other hand are classical. You don’t associate pictures to such ideas. The same can be said of God. (By proclaiming so, I wish to make clear that I am not an atheist or an agnostic) I wouldn’t go to the extent of giving a shape to Him. He’s above all that, in my opinion! The point is, why make God another victim of romantic understanding by associating Him with images?

Is it hypocritical to give importance to romantic forms? No, not all. If the sentence were “Is it hypocritical to give importance to romantic forms alone?”, the answer would be a big yes.  As I had mentioned previously, there should be a right mixture of classical and romantic understanding. Humans at first glance, undoubtedly get attracted by the forms. By this, I don’t mean to say one needs to shun romantic understanding at all, because he/she can’t. That’s the way the mind works.

Let’s take for example, the case of books. Supposing a normal person is made to choose between two books. One, Wuthering heights by Emily Bronte or Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. What do you think the average person would go for? Twilight, undoubtedly. Why do you think comics make it big? Or why do you think a normal person has an aptitude for languages and not for other subjects like Science and Maths? Blame it on romantic understanding! In all these cases, the human mind gets attracted by creativity! One is likely to pick up a fantasy fiction novel when compared to a serious novel! I am speaking about a normal person here. I am likely to pick Bronte or Camus or Balzac or any damned author. (Why do I say damned? These people failed to look at the romantic side of human understanding.) I might as well stop with this example because I were to continue talking about books, you might get bored at some point.

Thousands of years ago, primitive men made the best use of romantic understanding. They associated romantic understanding with religion to make people get interested in God. They created images  and sculptures of Him and created parables so people would get acquainted better with their religion. By stating this, I don’t mean to say such parables are fictitious. They may have been true but I personally think the contribution of primitive men to religion must have a special mention here.

Would I call myself the classical kind or the romantic kind? I can’t say! If I were to say that I fall under the former category, that would sound hypocritical because I happen to be a Homo sapien who’s no different from others. I wouldn’t vouch for the latter too, because then again, your intellect gets controlled by the sense organs that pave the way for romantic understanding. When I say romantic, I mean things like creative pursuits. The main basis of art, poetry and literature is romantic understanding. I am perhaps 80% classical and 20% romantic. I don’t have a clue what makes me say so. It might be perversion. Or I might be 60% classical and 40% romantic. But then wait, how can I rely on my thoughts alone to come to a conclusion? Even if I were to consider myself as an intellectual, wouldn’t the stream of thoughts lead me astray by being transient? Is there another medium with which a person can think clearly without getting digressed? Some medium that helps us hold on to our thoughts? This , in my opinion, is the biggest problem with classical understanding. When you get inundated by thoughts, the intellect gets challenged even more, which ultimately results in more thoughts, more views. It’s a bootstrapping problem. You view a thing in various angles and this only exacerbates matters. One second you are happy with the thought that you think suits the thing best but the next moment, before you even know what’s happening, the thought gets transcended to another. When that thought isn’t satisfying, you move on, coming back to square one in the end. You absolutely have no idea why you thought of the problem in the first place. You start thinking about something and end up finding out something else. Romantic understanding seems much better. But I don’t wish to sacrifice my intellect. Even if classical understanding helps me understand nothing, I will only be too happy to stick to it. Now, what’s the thershold of classical understanding? Fanaticism. Insecurity. The feeling of being lost.. but in what? In oneself, maybe! Just like the way one clings to a religion. I wouldn’t call it insanity. To be insane you need to be sane first. How does one measure sanity? Or rather, what is sanity? What does one do in order to be sane? What do you get as a result of fanatic Classical understanding? Sanity in the insane world. Your intellect won’t tell you if you are sane or insane. How can it when you are lost in yourself? The others can’t, too, because they are too busy worrying about your non-existent romantic thinking that their intellect gets attacked by thoughts of jealousy.  So, insanity and sanity are to be understood the other way round when they are spoken.

According to Robert Pirsig, there are two forms of understanding, as we have been discussing all along. According to my hypothesis, the classical and romantic understanding are themselves divided further;  radical classical and romantic understanding and conservative classical and romantic understanding. Radical classical understanding and radical romantic understanding produce non-conformists and Conservative classical understanding and conservative romantic understanding, conformists. People falling under the category, radical classical and romantic understanding, are fanatics, true to the name. I trust you would have got an idea by now.

Your thoughts on the subject are appreciated! If you have any questions as regards my hypothesis, have your say by commenting! But let’s not get too much radical or conservative!

PS: Fo your convenience,  I have uploaded the article  as a pdf on Scribd. Happy reading!

JANUARY 2009

I wanted to become an internet entrepreneur all right. But what do I do first? How do I begin? I started thinking. My cousin Narayanan and I were talking about the internet industry in general when he asked how I liked the idea of starting a magazine in print. He would help me with the marketing and all that. I thought why not but who had the time? I was a final year engineering student who had no resources nor the experience to start something big. Worse, I didn’t have an exposure to the outside world.  I was just another social media enthusiast who wanted to make it big in the internet world. I wasn’t sure if the idea would out for me. An earlier idea of a group blogging venture had not worked out so I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I was confused. I had big connections on the internet world, yes, but that alone wouldn’t suffice.

The day my cousin told me about the idea, I started thinking like crazy. To put it frankly, I was confused. I had to outweigh the positives and negatives. Coming to a conclusion isn’t an easy task when you are super overwhelmed. I knew I had a lot of contacts online, so why not make the most of it? Why not start a digital magazine instead of a magazine in print? After about thinking a LOT, I cut down my options to two. One, start a digital magazine for technology enthusiasts and two, a digital magazine for writers. The very same day, I mailed my social contacts and some of my folks asking them which would be a better idea. Their responses overwhelmed me. I had sent the mail to about 20-25 people and most of them responded. They made me ask a lot of questions and helped me find the inspiration within. Thanks a million, folks, for the support and encouragement you have showering me with! I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for your consistent feedback and wishes.Well, I had finally made a decision. I was going to start a digital magazine for aspiring writers.  Having made the decision, I started approaching bloggers and aspiring writers the same month asking them if they will be interested to write for the magazine. Goes without saying that I got an awesome response.

FEBRUARY AND MARCH 2009

Frankly speaking, I had none to support me. I am talking as regards real work. Soothing words from people did help me, yes, but I did all the work myself that at point I wanted to back away. This was getting too much. I had violent mood swings. Worse, my final year project was going on. I was not going to ignore my academics and start concentrating on this.  But I wouldn’t let the fire die down no matter what. I worked whenever I had the time.  I had to bring the dream to reality no matter what. I was going to win. There was no doubt about it. I wouldn’t let people talk behind my back.

APRIL 2009

By now, I was sure that the magazine would be released in May, after my exams got over. The pdf version of the magazine was also ready. But who would design it? I only knew to write and edit. Not design. That was not my cup of tea. Whom would I approach? Worse, who would do it for free?  I wasn’t sure if this work out at all. I don’t know when or how I approached Cheth but he immediately agreed to help me. I was floating on cloud nine. Why, I would have been the happiest Homo sapien alive if my happiness scale were tested with a meter.

A particular incident that happened the same month perturbed me to an extent but I kept Nietzsche’s saying, “That which does not destroy me makes me stronger“, in mind.

I booked the domain name and hosted it on my dreamhost account, in the third week of April.

MAY 2009

I had my university exams in the second week of May. Thankfully, my university exams got over by 9th! So, I started working from 10th. I had chosen Joomla as the CMS. But when I started working on it, I found it too difficult to customise. I couldn’t install the theme. Simultaneously Chethan was working on the design. I had given him an idea as to how the layout should look. I was not sure when the magazine would be launched. I nearly lost hope. I couldn’t customise the template I had chosen and experienced technical errors to the nth degree. By the third week, I was determined to launch the magazine on 22nd of the same month. I dabbled my time  trying to customise the template, googling the errors and eating and sleeping at odd hours. Things were exacerbated by the fact that my internet connection didn’t work for 2 days. Life was truly hellish. I was desperate.

Cheth attached the magazine in his mail and it was love at first sight.

I reverted to WordPress when Joomla wouldn’t let me experiment with it. My hunt for a theme that could function as a CMS came to an end when I set my eyes on Oulipo. If I were to say that I loved it, it would be an understatement. I customised the theme and decided to give Issuu a try to give my magazine a complete look. It worked perfectly.

I, Writer, India’s first literary digital magazine for aspiring writers was launched on May 22nd, 2009 at 07:30

What more can I ask for? I, for one, don’t value success in terms of materialistic pursuits. Self-satisfaction matters the most to me.I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to everyone who’s been with me all along. I would especially like to thank all my Twitter Peeps for their awe-inspiring support. Thanks a million for everything, Tweeps!

JUNE 2009

The next issue of I, the Writer is getting ready and we have had a fantabulous response so far. Check @ithewriter on Twitter for more updates and don’t forget to subscribe to the official blog.

Hope is subjective as long as the threshold of pain isn’t crossed. It becomes “Doubt” after the saturation point is reached. Her hope, a result of sheer vulnerability, was facing the same revolutionary crisis. Her heart palpitated as her subjective thoughts struggled to become objective. Her eyes gleamed with a dark light the Moon herself would have contemplated stealing. Hope gave way to doubt, and a million thoughts struck her mind in gargantuan leaps. The corners of her pallid lips twitched.

She watched her kid come back home and kept glaring at him. The dangerous look in her eyes was replaced by a look of uncertain confusion and depression. What was she going to feed him today? Would she do what she did yesterday or the countless nights before? She closed her eyes as she thought of the tool she was using to kill him-Hunger. The one tool that was not biased and was truly a communist. Her heart broke down to a thousand pieces as her kid came up to her. The innocent look in his face and his beautiful smile made her heart swell with peace. She kissed the malnutritioned kid chastely on his forehead. The child looked at his mom eagerly wanting to know if there was anything to eat. The greedy look on his eyes made her want to die at that very instant. She enveloped him in her arms, soaking him with tears of anger and helplessness, wondering why they had to live. The child knew better than to ask anything more and looked away, exhausted, not old enough to question his mother regarding his deprived childhood.

One can’t tell how much longer the puny child and his mother lay across the floor, entwined. One can’t even come to a cliched conclusion that it gave her solace. Her child was the reason she was living. She had no reason to live, if not for him.

She gently rose from the ground as she heard footsteps outside. It was the child’s father- her spouse, the sculptor. She didn’t have to talk to him to find about his inebriated condition.

She knew better than to ask him money. But it was a necessity now. At the rate the child was starving, he would be dead in a month’s time. She painfully knew would never get an answer if she asked where all the money went. It was obvious where it went. She sighed. She needed money. And she wouldn’t let him think she was indifferent to his actions.

“I need some money to buy groceries.”  The confidence in her voice surprised her.

“Who cares if you starve to death? Leave me alone.” He faltered, babbling unintelligible words.

“Please. Our child is dying.” She begged him  secretly wishing she were dead. Had she not been an invalid, she wouldn’t be begging him. She would have stood on her own legs.

“The contract I have signed says I will get the money only after 5 months. Don’t bother me now.” He didn’t, in the least, seemed to care about their son-her son.He fell asleep, snoring loudly.

She knew not whether to laugh to cry. The inhuman human in front of her was one of the most revered sculptors in the entire district. People thought his sculptures had a heavenly aura about them. Were the Gods he sculpted blind? Did God create man or man create Him? The creator in front of her was snoring softly and she sat there looking into the darkness.

——————————————————————————————-

I had been to Kanchipuram a few days before and visited an unfinished temple. I met a sculptor there who took great pains in explaining to us, the Sirpa Shastra. It was an interesting experience, as a whole. But I was perturbed by the way they lived. This made me come up with the question if God created man or it is the other way round. No, I am not an agnostic or an atheist. This is just a fleeting thought.

Image credit: Flickr

From time to time, his lectures on religion and philosophy would bore me to death. He must have known my propensity to other issues in life. He accepted me the way I was. We had tea breaks in between where we would talk about other things like Metaphysics and Cosmology. Not much of an improvement there, I know, but I started loving these lectures with a passionate animosity. When you don’t have a choice in things that are out of your control, all you do is wait for a miracle. And that was what I was expecting. A miracle. A faint hope that my father would leave me alone and start talking about cinema and entertainment, just like other kids’ dads did. But I was wrong. I should have known better. That day never came.

If I had known at that time about the word “hedonist” I would have proclaimed myself to be one. But I was only 18 then. An overgrown kid with no interest in anything yet everything. I was just a normal, yet-another school going kid with a liking for other sane pleasures. I would sometimes run away from him on the pretext of studying. What I did to make myself occupied is nobody’s business.

Every weekend to me, would mean hellish counsel. Though I liked my father more than anything else in the entire cosmos, his otherwise insistence that I become his successor was something hard to endure. No sane being would speak about Prakriti and Brahmam first thing in the morning. But we did. His was at all times, a monologue. I always  had an irresistible urge to ask him to talk about anything at all but would never do that. After all he was my sole relative. My mother had deserted us long back . So, I pitied my dad who took philosophising as a full time profession. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. What I had for him was a melange of inexpressible feelings. I almost revered my father. Things would have been great if we were on speaking terms. Not philosophising terms.

“The moment you start restraining your character to what you think you are, you start leading an illusory life. You fall into the trap of the conspirator, Maya or Illusion”, my father spoke the words again slowly, as if I were in a trance. The day’s question was “Is Life an illusion?” When I didn’t bother to answer the question, he started speaking, adjusting his half moon spectacles. I had to listen to many enlightening points that sadly didn’t have much of an effect on me. I sat there still, wondering why the balcony was always the meeting place. Perpetual stream of thoughts about the new film that was to be aired the day after and thoughts on the Facebook Mobwars application engulfed me. I was thinking how many people would join Mobwars under me when he said “I just happened to take a look at your Orkut profile.” His usual lopsided grin lingered.
I was shocked at first but composed myself. Why would my father of all the persons on earth have an orkut account? Words failed me and I didn’t volunteer any information. I kept staring at the bougainvillea that coveted my attention.

“You have an interesting “about-me” section. Care to explain why you think you are what you think you are?”

“I never knew you were on Orkut. Why didn’t you tell me before? This is a surprise, dad” I fumbled with the limited words I had access to.  Had I known that my father had an Orkut account, things would have been much simpler.I would never have craved a digital life. I at least wanted my virtual life to be fun!

“Never mind. Just tell me this. Your profile says you’re an atheist and a lot many things that I never knew you were. Can you please explain?”

One thing I truly detested in my father was this. He never digressed from his topics nor allowed others to mince with words. This was going to be tough, that much was certain. “I came up with that after a self-introspection session” was all I could manage to say. I wanted to please him but didn’t know if I could.

“Oh. And you found out the truth. Hmm. Tell me more. This is interesting.” He was clearly amused. His eyes were dancing. I wanted to run away to a place where there would be no language. Language had taken advantage of my sweetness and left me bereft of all happiness.

“I have always been an atheist, dad. I don’t know how to explain things. You are a living example of God! Why would I believe a God that would not help me and guide me? You and you alone shall have the effect in me. I won’t trust this unknown entity called God.After all that has happened, how can I trust Him? If He were real, he wouldn’t have made us suffer.”

What I didn’t expect at that instant was a sigh of pride in his voice that caused his usually cool temperament to falter.

“You are wrong. The younger generation today has misconstrued the concept of God.” He stood up, his stance reminding me of a lion about to get rampant. That was the only time I ever saw him get agitated.

“All the words I have uttered so far, have had no significance after all” He smiled sadly. I played with my fingers not wanting to face him. But I knew for sure that this god would understand me. “That’s okay. It’s the age. You are not to blame.” He continued, appraising me with his penetrating dark eyes “I tell you again, never ever restrain yourself to what you think you are. This entire life is for you to find out who you are. It’s easy to get influenced by books and the media and proclaim yourself as what is being shoved into your heads. Life is like a game of chess. You and I can’t control this never-ending game ; We are merely pawns of the game. We, the pawns have got infinite potential, yes, that we can destroy our adversary, the opposite King. But we choose not to do it. The King here is Maya which we force ourselves to believe, is the ultimate truth. But just think it over. The fact that the pawns exist is not an illusion. But at times, its very potential is decided by others’ play that it seems like an illusion. So, we, humans, are illusory real entities. The life we lead, is an illusion and yet is real. The pawn will be defeated any time by the allies of the adversary. It’s in our hands to stick to our side of the board and not becoming a scapegoat to the adversary’s plots.”

“Who’s the King on our side?” I was intrigued. I liked this theory very much and wanted to know more. This was also the first time I loved interacting with my father.

This made my father grin. “You are beginning to understand. Now, what what do you think it is?”

I scratched my chin. I almost jumped when I said “Truth or Knowledge”

“Enlightenment, Sidharth”. “You call it Samadhi in theoretical terms” He went on but the lines of perplexity on my face triggered him. “Samadhi is a divine state where the Jeevathma(Soul) mingles with the Paramathma(God).” He smiled again, looking proud when I nodded vigorously. “Or in scientific terms we call it the merging of biomagnetic force with the universal magnetic force.”

I was amazed. How did my father know this much? I despised myself for having not listened to his enlightening words before.

“Fabulous! Who are the queens and other dignitaries?”

“Ha ha! You are getting carried away. This is not a bed time story. But you have insisted and I might as well bore you. But I am only going to tell you who the Queens are. You come up with the rest.” He smiled crookedly, expecting me to join him. When he saw that I was not in the least interested in jokes at that instant, he furrowed his brows and started speaking as if he were giving an impromptu speech.

“The Queen on our side is the Guru or Mentor who helps you in realise yourself and the one abetting Maya or Illusion is Prakriti, the Black Queen, the one who creates Maya.”

Whoever told Chess was boring! I loved the personifications. How bad can that be?

“I have a couple of doubts, dad. Like how can a Guru be the Queen? He/she is human after all. Aren’t they pawns too? Also, do we not have the free will to play the game? Is everything predetermined? If at all everything is predetermined, who controls the game? If God were the controller, what’s His role here? ”

“Hmm. As regards the first question, you need to understand that a role of a mentor/Guru is indispensible for a man to reach the Samadhi state. How can you call such a significant person that helps in your transformation as a mere human/pawn? Is he/she not above all? As I had told you before, you people are under the misconception that we don’t have the right to decide our lives. That, in my opinion is sheer nonsense. We don’t have control over the results. Read the Bhagavad Gita. I don’t have to tell you that God controls the game. He does so from a distance. He is out there, somewhere, following whatever steps we make, to have Maya or Illusion in control. But He doesn’t showcase his presence.  It wouldn’t be fun if He were part of the game. Our side would always win and that would become monotonous. Consider the case in which He hides, watching it all with a smile on his face. He wants us all to lead an adventurous life. No, God isn’t controlling us totally.  Ipso facto, we are the players. It is we who decide about our fate, in either case!” He smiled and I was awestruck.

“We have talked too much today. Think about what I have told you. We’ll talk about this later.”

“But dad, I want to talk about everything now. Please. Not next week.” I stammered and he smiled mysteriously.

“Dad, We shall consider this as a tea break. Please” My heart palpitated.

His ear-ear grin made me gain hope. “And what is the next session about? Personification of coins in a carrom board perhaps?”

We laughed.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs appraises just that. Every person has needs and none is an exception to that. When the needs get neglected, he automatically turns a cold shoulder to whatever that’s happening. Let’s suppose A loves something dearly, and when A’s expectations fail over a period of time, A becomes indifferent and starts wearing a facade.

What makes people say things like  “I don’t care what others think about me! ” and “I am what I am”? Elementary, my dear Watson. The need to act perverted sets in. Such people want to prove to the world that they don’t care about anything at all while in fact, they do. Sadly, such indulgence is fondly being called “Attitude”.  Is this not hypocritical?

I have met many who act perverted just to attract attention. Ha! Pretense is sickening indeed! What is the need to act perverted, basically? By proclaiming yourself as someone that is not you, you are only making yourself seem stupid to me. I have come across many such paradigms who want to be hated or despised. Indifference gives way to another equally perturbing tool, Hostility. Hypocritical indifference is being rendered as a bow and hostility, as an arrow.

Pretense is the greatest folly of Mankind -Ranjani Ravi aka rampantheart

Why would people want to be hated? The repercussions  of their reactions are very well known to them. People that want to be hated show a strong craving for social acceptance. According to my hypothesis, they want to be either hated or loved. Still don’t get get me? When people know for certain that they don’t get what they want, they use the hate factor as a facade. They want to be either loved or hated:Not Neglected I am reiterating the point. They would rather be loved or hated than being ignored or neglected. Their behavior says they need something to prove others that they exist. That their existence is part of the finite world. That they are part of the infinite cosmos. This is the fundamental aspect of human psychology, in my opinion.

Why do you think the teen population has gone astray? Pretense rules their lives. The time you start thinking you know everything (Why, some even think they know the nexus between Brahman and Atma), ignorance takes the upper hand and makes you fall into the abysmal pit called delusion or Maya.

The next time you come across a person that has a care a damn attitude, don’t ignore him. Acknowledge his presence.  Acknowledgment of the fact that he exists, is what he needs.

Go ahead,  inundate me with your never-ending questions!

On the professional front, she actually has a doctorate degree from the University of Neverland. She is a part time lecturer at the same university too.

She makes at least $100 a day picking pockets and robbing others. She has her own philosophy for doing so and has even published a book called “101 effective ways to pick pockets in a crowd” and has had universal acclaim for it.

On the personal front, she has a penchant for people whose IQ falls anywhere in the range 20-80. She proudly holds a record of being the most educated person in her group. An incident has to be mentioned here:  She was in her middle school when she broke the head of one Siley Sillyfingers, a guy who took a liking for her friend. Goes without saying that Siley died on the spot. I am not trying to justify but our ‘prospective’ bride never had a date all her life and was depressed. She tried telling Siley to mend his ways but he wouldn’t listen. Won’t you call it fate? Stupid chap! Well, yes, she was in jail, unfortunately, for about some 6 years where she learned the trade of picking pockets and mastered it. Everything happens for a reason! Great dedication and hard work always pay, don’t they? You don’t need school education to proclaim yourself as smart and our rampantheart is one fine example for that.

She doesn’t have a hobby as such, but likes visiting jails as a rule. Says she learns a lot from the guys and that learning is a continuous process. Whenever she is free, she goes to adult education centers where she speaks devotedly about the integrity of her work and the scope of it in the future.  She earns at least $600 from donations every week,for the altruistic work she does.

She also has this great habit of getting up early in the morning as her work needs it. She sleeps very late at nights. Says she needs to cope with the hot happenings of the pickpocketing world. She even blogs at rampantheart.altruismredefined.com where she constantly updates her profile and pics. Her blog has lots of guest posts too.

She expects a dowry of around $2500 a month and won’t under any circumstances, agree to marry a guy in the similar profession. Says there will be ego problem. I have scared you, haven’t I? Don’t worry! She is not so tough after all! If you have robbed a bank, please apply soon. She will be thrilled and might say okay soon.

Age no bar as long as you are not a teenager. Teens are rebellious, she says and her eyes cloud when she reminisces how she lived with her twelfth teen husband.Please, we don’t want to hurt her, do we?

Her romance booms on Halloween days. She had married 14 out of her 15 husbands on the Halloween day and says it’s fun to dress up weird. She is childish and has the heart of a kid. Her frivolous side is something to watch out for! Well, once a newspaper article carried a news that said “70 year old male dies on watching a bloated balloon dance” and who do you think the guy saw? It was our rampant heart who dressed so for Halloween’s day and appeared before him to lure him. But fate wouldn’t let them unite. Sad, indeed!

She hates movies but loves paris hilton. She can’t tell why but paris hilton is who she worships. She detests George Clooney saying he’s too gorgeous and Brad Pitt saying he’s too cute and Johnny Depp saying he’s mismatched for her. Overall, she wants a man to be a man. Sorry, I can’t provide the definition of a “Man”. Contact her personally for such trivial details.
She would prefer meeting the applicant  in person because she needs to check if he suits her and accede to her conditions.

Well, if you would really love to apply for the post of husband on a contract basis, just send an email to rhlovestomarry@againandagain.com or if you want to spend the rest of your bright life with her, send a mail to rh@yoursoulmateformoney.com. She is in a social networking site called iamreadytomarryapig.com and her profile is www.iamreadytomarryapig.com/Profile.aspx?id=pig666

***** PS For every mail you send, please send $10 via paypal. She doesn’t accept credit card payment.

–Advertisement posted by Sobby Sucker, rampant heart’s secret admirer

Success in life is measured in terms of power,  power in terms of fame and money, they in turn, in terms of how many reality shows you take part in.

Got it? Now you at least know the power reality shows carry! Power is not the only feature! There are lots more! We’ll discuss them all here! BTW, this post is made possible by a show called ” Egiri Guthithaen Kaal Udainthathu” that is featured everyday on ABCD TV! Don’t forget to check out the special feature where celebrities are caught unawares dancing to the tunes of hip-hop , breaking their legs. I love that feature! Before I start eulogising the anchor who speaks a melange of languages that is hard to decipher, I would like to point out why reality shows are a must in today’s world!

From this article, you’ll not only learn

How to take part in reality shows picking the right ones

but also

How to get famous without breaking your close friend’s bones

Selecting your niche

What do I mean by ‘Niche’? It’s the very blogging niche I am talking about. My niche is writing and yours may be technology or social media. But if you want to become famous and be the sparkling star of your area, stop blogging and start scratching your non-existent brains to come up with an “entertainment” niche to bathe in glory and everlasting fame. The fact that I happen to be a singer, is a blessing! Don’t worry! I am gonna help you find yours!

Think! What is your forte? What can you do that your neighbor  Subbu can’t do? Dance, yes! When the 300 pound moron can dance, why not you? Remember, all it takes is a few steps!  Like, you are already angry considering the fact that he’s become the local celebrity. He has taken part in “Singamaada Nariyaada” a month back . What further perturbs you is the sardonic grin shadowing his  frog-like face whenever he sees you. Now is the time to retaliate by taking part in a show that’s even more popular than the one that carried his bulky frame.

Now that you have made a list of programs that carry a higher TRP rating, you need to decide. I know you are facing a manic depression. Be calm. I am here to help you out. Of the two that are making the rounds now, “Lady No. 1″  will give you the glory. Don’t you trust me? Okay, here are the reasons:

1. “Ungalil yaar adutha Omakuchi Narasimman” is not very original. Also, You can’s both dance and crack jokes at the same time. You need to be slim too, which is another vice. Such shows, in my very humble opinion, shouldn’t have prerequisites!

2. Lady No. 1 gives you the chance to know what’s it and how’s it like to be dancing like a lady. Such innovative concepts have never failed to amaze me. Also, the limited options of a man’s dressing is overcome efficiently.

This is just my take. If you thought dancing like a lady wouldn’t be your cup of tea, stop dreaming of fame and start  sulking about your seemingly empty life!

Preparing yourself

You have selected your Niche and have decided to take part in “Lady No 1″ Season 16. The good news is they have even accepted you. Now comes the critical stage. You need to be prepared for the competition. Of course I cant teach you everything. But I am not cold-hearted as to let you cry like a baby in a lost world. I have a simple exercise for you. Write the below awe-inspiring sentence everywhere you go:

Only the fittest shall survive

Thank Charles Darwin for the above quote and start practising. Don’t ever think pessimistic. You are going to win, no matter what! Ask your lady friends for tips but be discreet. You wouldn’t want your foes to know you are going to have them beat, would you? Start dreaming! NOW!

Be buttermouthed and get emotional:

The judges seem to like whatever you do. You are leading the scoreboard in all the rounds and you are constantly bathed in beatific words like “Mind boggling! Fabulous!  Awesome”. Some even go to the extent to say they have had an out-of-body experience. You are basking in glory, alright, but don’t go too far! If it’s happiness and pride you have on your face, wipe those out. Learn to cry! The golden rule to make an everlasting impression and melt the judges’ hearts  easily is to cry. I repeat.

The golden rule to make an everlasting impression and melt people’s’ hearts easily is to cry.

Cry, Cry and Cry! You shall succeed! – Reality Rangan, prestigious winner of Gaana Isai Virundhu said thus. [ The original words Azhu Azhu Azhudhukkunae iru. Gelichiruvae Raasaa are copyrighted to him]

When you are given a chance to speak, choke with words and tell you are indebted to everyone including the anchor who helped you understand the significance of dressing. After you are done with your subsequent rounds, now is the time to exhibit some of your not so sweet characteristics. When the judge tells you you were not so great which is of course incidental, start crying and make it a big issue. Tell them you are not gonna take it any longer.  The secret to making the whole world talking about you is this. Practise creating such a scene beforehand so that it helps you.

Retaliate

You have become famous and people all over the world are talking about you. Your name comes first for google searches. The aftereffects are awesome and you can’t believe you are the same person that was, before. People on the streets start calling you Lady No. 1 and chase you. Flaunt everything in front of Subbu and have a lopsided grin attached to your face wherever you go! Success, power and fame are yours!

You shall follow the same steps for other shows as well. Just a few small tips for music related ones! Music related shows are becoming hot property now! You don’t even have to practise. Go there straightaway and experiment. Don’t care about the Shruti nor the cracks in your screeching voice. Just sing. Who knows, you might win a chance to sing for films! There’s a golden mantra for this! Don’t lose confidence!

To reiterate the same, I am pointing out an inspiring incident. Recently, the show “Rottora Super Singer” carried a segment where the singers of  Super 80 were joined by another 20 participants  eliminated in the previous rounds but still were given a chance to prove their talents! I was close to tears seeing it! We think people around us are ruthless but how kind they are! How cool would it be if things like that happened in life! I would like MNC s to consider this approach. They should be kind enough to give people chances!

Conclusion

I don’t want to overwhelm you with my powerfully intense words. I have written a book called ” Reality Show um therukkoothu Thillairajan um” which is available for special discount rates at “Naerathai Veenaakku” dot com.It contains everything you need to know! The book is a one stop knowledge tank for people who are new to the concept.

I have just let a secret that every individual on his quest to becoming famous, must know! Don’t thank me! Thank all those legends who have been contributing to the Reality show era! This is just a philanthropic work!But if you still insist that I am entitled to at least one percent of your prize share, you know where to reach me.

Take part in Reality Shows and live your life to the fullest! At least, Reality Shows don’t suck like reality. People give you a lot of chances there! Trying won’t hurt! May you succeed in all your reality show endeavours!

Image credit: Flickr